Supporting the Grieving

This is a rare serious post – today is National Grief Awareness Day and I wanted to take a minute to talk about how to support the grieving. When someone passes, so often people don’t know what to say or do…often the most important thing is to just be there, and to keep being there. The first few weeks, people are all over the grieving, and far too often, after those first few weeks pass, we forget about the people who have suffered a loss and are trying to adjust to their “new normal”. Don’t push yourself on them, but check in – a simple “hi, I was thinking about you today” is enough to let them know someone cares. And take your cues from the person – they may be having a good day, and if they are and they want to talk about the weather or work or any other random thing, talk about that. If they want to tell you they’re having a terrible day and missing their loved one, let them talk about it. I heard from a friend once who had a really sad loss that one of her friends said “how are you doing” and she said, “not good” and her friend didn’t even comment on that, but just kept talking about herself. FAIL!

Another thing I’ve learned from walking through grief and with grieving friends is not to be scared to mention the person who’s passed – sometimes people tiptoe around even mentioning the name of the departed, but for the grieving, they’re thinking of him or her all the time, and it’s a comfort to know someone else remembers their loved one too.

Practical help is often appreciated in the beginning too, but if it’s rejected, don’t take it personally. Some people work through grief and sadness by being busy, and they may not want you running their errands, but everyone appreciates an offer – not a vague, “if you need anything”, but “hey, I’m going to x store, can I pick anything up for you?”

And one thing almost anyone can do – don’t forget to pray for the grieving. You may or may not be a believer, but I am and I believe the Lord can comfort the brokenhearted. So if you feel comfortable doing so, please remember your friends and relatives who have lost loved ones in your prayers.

OK…tomorrow I’ll be back to my usually scheduled fun posts. In the meantime, I am going to leave you with a recipe – this one isn’t mine but I did bring these to a funeral once. Compliments of Christi of Love From the Oven, here are what she calls Red White & Blue Bars and what I call Red Velvet Brownies – I’ve made them with white chocolate chips or other seasonal M&M’s and they’re delicious, no matter what you add: https://www.lovefromtheoven.com/red-white-blue-bars/